About three weeks ago my mother-in-law passed away suddenly. While it was unexpected it also somewhat wasn't as her health had been declining for some time. The kids and I were already back home when it happened but my husband was not. He put in for emergency leave and was on a flight out within about 14 hours. There have been a lot of changes in all of our lives in the past three weeks. I think one of the best things I was told the following day was conveyed to me by my grandmother as conveyed by her sister-in-law. That is you play the hand of cards you have. You can't look back to previous hands or hands you could have received. You can't change what is, even when you want to. You simply pickup and deal with what is.